How do you decorate?
I remember when I was a kid and I was able to decorate my room. I picked out furniture with my mom. She allowed me to paint my own bedroom which I loved. I decorated by just picking out what I liked or just using whatever we had and rearranging it in a different way. How do you decorate?
I used to just use what I had
When I became an adult and moved out, I just used whatever I had and maybe bought a few very inexpensive things to help decorate. I remember getting posters that I thought looked cool. I would buy stuff based on liking the art behind it or just because I liked the piece. At the time, I wasn’t really trying to fit things into a color scheme or anything like that. It was usually just making what I had look nice.
It never even occurred to me then to try and copy someone else’s style really. I just arranged my stuff however I thought it looked best. If I got bored with a look or a piece, I would take it off of the wall and put it in a closet with my other art/stuff to decorate with and later I may use it again in a different way. I would use the frames but change out what was in them, etc.
Outside influences affected how I decorated
I began to notice in the last handful of years that with social media, HGTV, and advertising/store displays and websites, I had started to decorate differently. At first, it was me thinking that I was doing a better job by coordinating items to make everything cohesive for rooms. This eventfully turned into seeing other ideas for inspiration. These ideas came from shows I watched, websites I shopped from, store displays, occasionally other people’s homes, etc.
Trying to fit in with my house… who even sees it? Do they even care?! 😂
The next thing I knew I was spending a lot more money on decor items trying to fit what was trending into my home design. Now, I feel like I’ve sort of lost a feel for what I truly like with so much being sort of pushed in my face.
Trying to use color schemes to guide me to a more cohesive look
I remember one of the first times I really tried to decorate like a designer. My motivation came from the Nate Berkus show and they demonstrated how to choose a few colors and repeat them. I did that to decorate my living room at the time with a turquoise and yellow color scheme. After that, I sort of have used the colors idea to set up rooms. I’m starting to realize that even though it can create a cohesive look, it sort of puts you in a box.
Current colors: Cream, Black, and Olive Green
And now for the past several years, my colors have been cream, black, and sort of an olive, muted green color. This helped me keep the look of my new home cohesive as I was setting it up. I liked that it kept it looking put together.
I do wonder if it’s time for a change, but I do find this color combo very soothing and when I consider going away from it, I think I may miss it. This is the longest period of time probably that I’ve had the same look in my home and not been tired of it.
What do I even like?!
I became much more minimal over the years, but it’s hard to say if that’s truly what I like best. I think for me, the minimal style just feels easier on my brain because I so often feel overstimulated with so many tasks I’m trying to manage all at once.
HGTV & Target told me what my house should look like
I also think that watching lots of HGTV renovation shows and home decorating shows as well as the inspiration rooms from the Target website and things like that began to sort of shape for me what my house “should” look like.
After writing this, I did a quick Google search and saw that I am definitely not the only one noticing this trend. Check out this article.
I miss the authentic me before the influence of everyone else
Over the years, I’ve started to miss how my home used to look before I tried to match what was “in style”. Before I even knew what that was, I just chose pieces to hang up that were cool to me. I didn’t really have a color scheme for a room or particular rules about my belongings. I just had things that I liked or that served a purpose for me and I used them. But in a way that felt more “homey” than when I try so hard to make it look like a catalog in my home.
How do I bring back what I had before all of this and remove all of these other ideas to see what I truly like?
So now, I’m trying to figure out how to reset my home. I don’t want it to look all scattered because I get stressed by too much visual clutter. But, I also don’t want it to look too boring and blah, which I feel like it sort of has for a while- even though I have also sort of enjoyed the bland? I just want a clean, homey, cool, and welcoming space for my family.
How should I choose my art?
I want to move away from purchased, impersonal, cookie cutter art – art that’s the same as everyone else’s and looks like we are mimicking each other’s space.
Instead, I would love to move toward art that is personal. Like where I took the photograph, or maybe myself of a family member did the art and now it’s on display. That could be pottery, a painting, or a drawing done by us, for us.
Full disclosure, that is not what’s currently going on in my home in many parts of it. Right now, I do have things from the big box stores everywhere- but I do still like some of them a lot, so maybe I’ll focus more on if I love it than where it’s from and I could end up with a mixture of the more personal art along with art that I just see and love, wherever I get it from.
Incorporate Memories into your decor, so that it doesn’t feel meaningless
Also- I like the idea of incorporating cool pieces from trips/travels or gifts from family members- bringing meaning back into our homes.
wall hangings, macrame, live plants, homemade quilts, character, personal items that show interests and accomplishments – being able to tell who lives there and not just a generic home.
Desensitized by Minimalism/Konmari- is it a good thing?
I am adding this part in here about the desensitization because I feel like it relates to how the home can end up full of meaningless items- as you have decluttered the items that had history/meaning in your home.
About 7 or 8 years ago, I did the Konmari method of decluttering and basically got rid of a TON of stuff. I absolutely do not regret it, because I had sooo many things that I didn’t need and they were weighing me down. I’ve pretty much desensitized myself to being overly attached to stuff, which is a good thing in that I recognize fully that stuff is just stuff.
Nothing lasts forever and items are not nearly as important as people etc. That is good- however it can sort of make you wasteful and take away too sentimentality until everything around you just sort of feels like boring basic stuff because you realize how meaningless the stuff really is.
I sort of miss when my stuff felt special/more sentimental. But, I don’t miss the guilt and requirement to keep the stuff because so and so gave me that so long ago that they don’t even remember. I don’t miss hanging onto items just because I felt bad letting it go.
With all of that being said- I think it’s important not to declutter all meaning from your items. Yes, don’t keep everything- but also make sure you keep enough to still feel like a person with history and not like you could just purchase your whole “life” (your possessions) in one trip to the store.
What do I like vs what have I been taught to like?
Taught by Target look books “ideas on the website”, store shelves, HGTV, trends etc. vs what I would naturally be drawn too. Also, minimalism sort of taught me to not be attached to things- which is good. People are more important than things- but at the same time- is it good?
It sort of feels that by losing some of my sentimentality I have just created a home full of meaningless belongings that “sparked joy” when I bought them and now have only the meaning of I liked it in the store at the time for that look. At least before when facing items I could think that someone I cared about gave me that etc.
What is the solution?
So this post is less of a solution and more of a thought provoking question. Are you buying stuff because you truly need it and like it? Or just to fit a look? Is fitting a look actually valuable to you? Or is it just you chasing what stores and tv shows tell you your home should be? What truly matters to make your home feel like a home to you and your family? What would serve your family best in your home?
So now I ask myself, what does God want me to do with my home?
As a homemaker, I see my home as the place where I should raise my children. I should love my husband and children here. It needs to serve us well and not overwhelm me. Too many items to manage overwhelm me, which is why I embraced minimalism. It helped me to not feel buried by work. The work of picking up, maintaining, cleaning, protecting, and organizing stuff constantly.
I want my home to be a place that I can feed my family, educate my children, play fun games together with my family, and they can read and play together. They can play outside and have fun without creating a muddy mess (we have lots of red clay in the yard).
I also want us to make music. I want us to have time to gather together for Bible reading and worship, I want us to have places to relax and places to work, study, do art, do woodwork, and eat. I also like to sew and so do my kids, so we need places for that and the stuff that comes with that.
Are decor and function intertwined?
So, now I have to figure out- does the decor part have to relate to the function part? Or are those totally separate? I guess the ideas for the spaces don’t necessarily have to affect the style. I’m basically sick of arbitrary rules made up by designers dictating what I can like in my head. Because I think about the design rules for a room as I’m trying to create a quilt. I want to just make an awesome quilt that I love- but then it doesn’t match anything and that’s so annoying. Ahh! Ha ha.
Maybe, I’ll get it all together soon. Hopefully this has gotten your wheels turning too. How do you decorate? Do you follow trends that HGTV, Target, and social media set for you? Do you follow what is truly what you and your family like? Do you set your own path? Let me know in the comments below.
Extra thought that came to me later-
It’s not just the house
Just like listening to too many voices can make you sort of lose your decorating identity, so can listening to too many voices in life. We have to make sure that we hush the voices that aren’t God’s voice in our lives. Make sure that you are careful about every voice you’re listening to- consciously and subconsciously.
These voices or influences come in many forms, peer pressure, social media, tv shows, comparison to peers, friends, songs/music that we listen too, etc. Be careful what you let into your mind. Make sure that you keep your eyes on Jesus and don’t get lead in other directions.
So the questions are in two groups here:
Decorating:
- How do you decorate your home?
- Which voices affect your decor?
- Do you know your own desires and likes, or do you chase after what’s “in” and follow trends and feel sort of unsatisfied?
- Do you chase trends and fully enjoy that?
Life:
- Which voices are speaking into your life?
- Is God’s the loudest?
- Are you allowing other voices to steer your direction?
- Is God the first place you run to with concerns and questions about your life and your situations?
